Mastering the Art of Storytelling: Insights from Dan Clark

welcome to the know your ship podcast presented by ehub I’m your
host Frank Dolce the one and only Dan Clark and if you if you want history on
Dan it’s all over the place but listen to podcast number one because we go
through Dan’s history and growing up and and all of these amazing and
interesting things and so you’ll learn a lot if you if you listen to number
one in this in this podcast there’s two things I I want to talk to you about
first of all how’s how’s everything how’s your family how’s Life’s good yeah
everybody’s good yeah you’re yeah Life’s good we live back and forth from
here in Arizona so it’s fun season ticket holders cut and dried Ute so we
always come in for the season I mean for the uh football games and yeah I
know this is an nevergreen podcast so we won’t mention who we who we beat
this week but the yous are on a roll that’s right you know one of the things
that you do so well and I think people are so fascinated by you is because
you have this way of teaching a lesson through telling a story like that that
seems to be your thing the storytelling aspect and I know you’ve talked about
that but where where did you develop that why is it meaningful and how can
people learn to do that I mean you seem like such a like that’s a natural
thing you just have the ability to tell a story maybe it’s just something
that you’ve developed over time but I think it’s really useful in all facets
of personal and business life okay so let’s just kind of cut that apart let’s
dissect that so when I started getting better after I recovered from my
football injury as I was recovering people were curious of what was going on
you know Mind Over Matter isn’t really that powerful with my story and so I
was asked to speak and I parlayed into a full-time deal when I started
getting asked to speak I went to my dad my hero and I said dad what kind of a
speaker should I be and he said the kind of speaker that you like to listen
to and I that’s why I became a Storyteller so then fast forward when Zig
Ziggler a world-renowned motivational teacher heard me speak and took me
under his wing he personally mentored me for 25 to 30 years on the Art and
Science of Storytelling so he was known as the Storyteller and now fast
forward a little bit further uh When someone tells us something how many of
us have had the experience where someone tells us something and they walk
away and we forget what they told us or they teach us something or you’re in
a convention and somebody you know Death by PowerPoint they try to cram so
much information on the same slide nobody can read it past the fifth row
yikes and you’re just trying to capture and and quantify and measure all this
information that’s being forced fed and then someone pauses and tells a story
you remember the story which is linked to the lesson and that’s how you
basically learn that’s how you remember how many of us have read a book and
we’ve we’ve excuse me understood every word and then when we close the book
click off the reading light we forget what we read MH so I studied I became a
student of where recall and understanding come to in Apex and the triangle
Ang Le and it’s every 50 minutes so you move your state you change your
environment you walk around then you come back that’s why we have classes
every 50 minutes or 45 minutes in high school and college that’s where they
came up with that idea I’m sure and so when I started studying we’re recall
and understanding come to that that that Apex at 50 minutes how could we
strengthen that and and elongate that process and the discovery was you just
tell stories facts tell stories sell people remember stories for example if I
said Frank you and your staff are so famous for unconditional support you’re
always there for your clients no matter what they can rely on you the
transference of trust is a real deal in your culture that support is just so
awesome and I think every single person with whom you come in contact should
understand that Frank Dolce is known as unconditional support well I didn’t
tell a story so everybody’s going to say yeah dolci and his organization
they’re known for their support but what if I said we all need to give each
other unconditional support and to help you remember a mother encourages her
daughter to come home as soon as school is over the time comes the time goes
30 minutes later her daughter walks in through the front door of her home and
her mother school or where have you been I’ve been worried sick she says oh
Mom me I walked my friend Sally home she dropped her doll on the sidewalk I
broke all the pieces it was awful her mother said so you’re late because you
stayed to help your friend pick up the pieces of the doll and put it back
together again she said oh no Mommy I didn’t know how to fix the doll I just
stayed to help her cry so they might not remember my name they might not
remember that I was trying to teach them about unconditional support but most
likely they’ll REM guaranteed they will remember the story and then most
likely keep it attached to the principle of the truth I was trying to teach
that we need to be there for each other in unconditional support yeah okay
you have there are so many stories you tell so many stories and it feels like
you have instant recall on all of these things how how did you develop that
first you you take the time when you have an experience you have to take the
time to figure out what life lessons you just learned you have to most people
don’t oh my gosh I can’t believe that happened to me and I’m like okay you’re
crying for a reason you’re devastated for a reason pain is a signal to grow
not to suffer once we learn the lesson the pain is teaching us the pain goes
away so in life there’s no mistakes only lessons take the time to learn the
lessons so that you don’t repeat the same mistake twice most people don’t
take the time to learn the lesson because of what I do for a living I suppose
that’s the muscle memory that’s what that’s the system I’ve created so when I
hear a joke I remember the joke because I remember the reality that someday
that was so funny I want to tell it to somebody else so I’m more in tune I’m
more focused in on listening and remembering and then I REM you know I’ll
immediately tell the joke to somebody so I can recall it again and it’s kind
of logged into my into my mental Library if you will but when we when we can
take the time to learn the lesson or figure out what the lessons are then we
can start embellishing expanding that story and get serious about how would I
share it with someone with these life lessons included so can I give you an
example absolutely so I’ve flown all the fighter jets in the United States
Air Force all the Jets that have two seats because even though I fly by law I
can’t take off and land a military aircraft so when I go up in a 90 90 minute
sorty I always get the stick and I can fly the the jet or the bomber for 30
out of the 50 30 out of the 90 minutes sorty and have a time of my life so uh
this is I might as well inject this as a civilian I’ve I’ve flown all the
fighter jets all the bombers been up into space we talked about that last
podcast and everybody says how were you able to pull that off well I’m a
story teller I want I want Adventures to share I want to I want to make
myself more compelling to be around more fast fascinated to talk to more
qualified to teach you know to learn from uh you know sales statistics the
analytics on the sales profession 44% of sales professionals quit by the
fourth sales call excuse me by the first sales call 24% quit after the second
sales call 14% quit by the third sales call and 12% quit by the fourth sales
call that’s 94% of sales professionals who quit by the fourth sales call and
yet 85% of our sales are closed between the fifth and the 12th sales call so
again let me regurgitate the goal is not to do business with everybody who
wants what you have the goal is to do business only with those who believe
what you believe so they choose you not just somebody who does what you do
why would they choose you because you’re more fascinating to talk to more
compelling to be around more qualified to learn from so it behooves all of us
who are in the people building business every person in the world is in the
sales world you know if you’re a father you’re trying to sell the idea to
your little three-year-old girl to to to eat her her her spinach you know Zig
Ziggler said every kid will eat spinach if you wait long enough but again we
have to be in the sales process we’re always that you’re dating trying to
pick up somebody at a sports bar when you’re trying to connect and develop
relationships we’re all in the sales world so who are we fooling not to
become the best sales professionals we possibly could be well the way we sell
is to turn every sales pitch into a serve pitch and the serve pitch is what
can I do for you and in order for you to respond and think that I really can
help you that I really can take you from where you are to where you want to
be I have to have enough life experience that I can convince you I can turn
decades into days because I’ve been there I’ve traveled the road I’ve got
some insights and wisdom that you don’t have at the current moment and
because of my experience you trust me that I can take you to the promised
land and that experience is my story my experiences are my stories MH and so
I wanted to give that preamble to answer your question that life is a story
you know we’re painters it’s a canvas and every day we wake up and we could
use a broad brush or we can get that finely tweaked you know small whatever
the brush is called in the art world and we can paint our canvas every single
day uh that’s why 73% of my businesses always return because they know I have
more stories to share and I record every single story joke anecdote quote
that I share in a speech on my CRM on my contact management system at the end
of every speech I write down everything because I’m spontaneous I have jokes
that pop in I have a story I’m like yeah let me share this one and and then
then when they call me back I look at my notes and I’m like okay I told that
I told that I told that I told that but I’m going to tell them this one this
one this one and this one so life sh because it’s a story and because we’re
all in the Sal World it behooves us to have to turn our bucket list into a
living list what am I going to do today so having said all of that the way
that I’ve flown all the Jets and the bombers got up into space is through
service before self so every every commander in the military I’ve been
downrange eight times Iraq Afghanistan you know that the demilitarized zone
in Korea you know all over the world and every Commander knows that I’ve
donated my time and whatever talent I have so I’ve given over 350 free
speeches to the military and eventually one of the commanders will say Clark
we know what your speaker fee is and you keep donating your time what can we
do for you I’m like I want to fly an F18 they can’t say no I want to fly an
F-16 I want to fly with a Thunderbirds I want to go up into space m so it’s
all a bartering system that’s not my motivation but when someone when you
create a moral obligation the law of reci reciprocity is a Real Deal karma is
a real deal what goes around comes around and when you serve and serve and
serve it creates a moral obligation for that person to eventually say how may
I serve you so there’s nothing wrong with already having an ask in place you
do your due diligence and I know every aircraft and every asset on every base
in a in the world and when a commander ask me to speak to all of his troops
and says what can we do for you I already know what’s in his garage baby I
already know what’s in what’s what’s in his hanger and I’m like yeah I want
to fly on F-15 no problem I want to fly on F16 so here’s the great story so
the very first fighter Jedi ever flew was in pexa River Maryland I spoke for
the the US Naval Admirals leadership conference in Pensacola Florida at the
Naval Museum I walk in the Blue Angels are hanging from the ceiling it was so
inspiring their wing spands are 18 inches apart and I start thinking man I’d
love to interview the the lead talk about trust and training and all these
cool things that he or she would have you know the expert eyewitness account
on and I introduced and I dazzled these these these folks it went well
actually it was one of my better speeches they were doing the wave and name
of their future children after me it was great they were chanting F do like
we used to do in the stands when you AB for 600 yards in the first half 72 people
69 were all my family so bad and I go back to the back of the room and
fourstar uh it’s fourar Admiral Clark and three star admiral dwire they said
Clark that was amazing what can we do for you I said I want to fly an F18
they said we could do that I’m like really it was my first chance asking and
they said really two weeks later I flew into Baltimore Maryland rented a car
drove South to pexon River Maryland I show up and the the sign above the gate
says Naval test pilot school and I should have just turned around and gone
back to my hotel because I walk on on I drive on the base I get on my car
start walking around and these fighter pilots have anifree flowing through
their veins they’re just unique cats man they walk like they said on
something hot they’re just looking for the enemy they’re just Bas man so I’m
a DieHard romantic I’m looking for to you know I’m looking for Tom Cruz I’m
looking for Maverick andere goose and Iceman cougar Kelly McGillis in the
bathroom and and I never found any of them you didn’t they weren there I I I
I get introduced to the flight surgeon who check things I didn’t even think I
owned and I’m fitted in my flight suit my you know full combat Steel Toad
boots gloves torso torso harness safety vest uh helmet the whole deal and
they take me to the Aquatic Center for Aquatics training in case we crash
into the water I need to know how to survive so they have me dive into the
pool olympic size swimming pool and swim two laps that’s 100 yards in full
combat gear 85 pounds of combat gear I almost drowned like seven times then
they put me in an underwater Maze and blindfolded me as if we got crashed
into the into the ground and something happened to me and I had to find my
way out of this underwater Maze and come to the surface I almost drowned I
had to tread water for 15 minutes in full combat gear I’m getting tired they
take me to the center and they strap me on this 45 degree sled to practice
ejection training and this guy his call sign was Psycho I think he had one
glass eye he was kinding one of those guys hey you ever jacked out of a jet
I’m like duh he straps me in he says on three pull the yellow lever between
your legs three I pull it shoots me up this this sled catch three and a half
G’s did that three times they taught me how to how to you know work the
parachute in case we had to eject and I’m hanging from this huge bar and I’m
getting curated with the with the nylon straps and trying to figure out how
am I going to drive this and I get off and my voice is seven pitches higher
for about 36 minutes what an experience anyway that night I go to dinner with
dog Thompson the commander and we’re talking I said so sir is there something
I should eat to prepare me for the flight in the morning he said yeah bananas
I said why am I going to cramp up do I need the potassium he goes no it’s
because bananas taste exactly the same coming up as they do going down I said
okay so I sleep the next morning they introduced me to my pilot Captain
Rudder call sign Roto and I’m like what happened to the romance of Maverick
and cougar I’m like I’m going to put my hands in the my life in the hands of
rodo rder right why not so we take off he had more carrier Landings to take
off than anyone else at the base he was just a superstar G Gulf War hero and
so we take off and we did everything you saw in Maverick Top Gun the movie
and that’s the same aircraft at f8 yeah you know went to altitude 46,000 ft
cut went twice the speed of sound 1200 mil an hour you had the bombing runs did
the loop loop did the whole deal it was so awesome 90 minutes later you let
me take the the stick for a while and 90 minutes later we land and as we
taxied in there was a journalist there with a camera crew because I’m a
civilian and it was kind of an anomaly that here this guy gets to go up and
do all this exciting stuff pop the canopy and I’m sitting there and the
journalist asked me one question she says so Mr Clark did you pop your
cookies I said that’s it goes yeah everybody wants to know did you pop your
cookies and I said well Colonel Thompson was absolutely correct about those
bananas last night and I said in fact I ejected a box of Milk Duds I’d eaten
at a movie when I was nine and everybody around the maintainers me they heard
me say that they were laughing so hard I said I was upside down so long I
think I’m the only human being who’s ever thrown down just taking notes this
is going to be great for the article so I get out of the Jet and I’m walking
back to the back to the locker room with my commander and I said how did we
fly This Magnificent flying machine state-ofthe-art and he said by feel I
said what do you mean he said you be you became the plane I said what do you
mean he said when you climbed up the ladder and slid into the cockpit did you
strap into the F18 or did you strap the F18 onto you so what I just shared
was a story that someone could have said yeah I got a chance to fly an F18 we
did all this crazy stuff I po my cookies but I wanted to do it again and
again because of the thrill it was so amazing and uh and what a day MH didn’t
teach anybody anything so Richard Branson he goes up into space Jeff bezas he
goes up into space William Shatner you know Captain Kirk he goes up into
space and I was so disappointed because all they said when they came back to
Earth was it changed my life forever and that’s just wrong when you’re given
when you’re tapped out and given an experience nothing happens to us in life
everything happens for us and if we’ve been given an experience overcoming
cancer you know doing whatever having suicidal ideology and we snapped out of
it now we know how to talk to someone so that they don’t take their lives if
we figured out marriage all the ups and downs that es and flows of marriage
and I’ve been married for 44 years and I have figured out some secrets and
rebound rate and how to recover and how to stay with your sweetheart no
matter what you never have a divorce a murder maybe but you’re never going to
have a divorce we have a moral obligation Franco to share our story and our
experience with someone whom we can help I have so many letters handwritten
letters back before the E email days back before cell phones my sweet mom I
employed a lot of folks in my family back in the day I had so many offices
and my mom saved so many letters from people who said thank you you saved my
son’s life thank you you helped save our marriage thank you you helped
Kickstart My entrepreneurial idea and those are heartwarming you notice I
didn’t save them I’m not into that but my mother saved them because she
thought they were so significant and we have that that opportunity to impact
someone’s life so so Sir Richard Branson and Bezos they went up into space
but their entire Adventure was 11 minutes from launch to landing and they
only saw the curvature curvature of the Earth for one minute they were shot
up like a rock I was there for 5 hours sat in the Sounds of Silence looking
at the breathtaking curvature of the earth gazing into the endless Blackness
of the universe pondering eternity and my place in it what’s it all about
what’s it really all about flat flat earthers bite the wall I’ve got videos
it’s so extraordinary and so as a speaker as an author but as a human being I
felt the moral obligation to figure out Deeper Life Lessons that I can share
with someone because most people aren’t going to get that opportunity to see
the curvature of the earth like I did and that’s why storytelling is so
critically important for our communication skills because we we will change
someone’s life with the story let me just illustrate so I teach public
speaking coach a lot of speakers a lot of folks if anybody’s interested you
can sign up for I speak like a pro course and I created what call the speaker
triangle and Visually it’s a it’s a funnel on purpose because every person
oneon-one one on 10 one on five here in your beautiful Studio One on 20,000
in an arena everybody craves the answers to three questions no matter what
it’s the essence of sales the essence of leadership the essence of coaching
the essence of parenting think about it bro you’ve played at the highest
level you’ve coached at the highest level you’re one of the more
extraordinary radio commentators I’ve ever heard my life because what you do
is you answer these three questions and you didn’t even know you were
answering them question number one why should I listen to you it’s The
credibility piece have you done it historically are you currently doing it
question number two is the most significant That’s The credibility piece
question number two the possibility piece can I do it too can I do what
you’ve said what you teach what you’ve experienced can I do it too with my
past with my limitations with my weaknesses and with my strength because as
when I teach speakers if you’re nervous before you speak it means you think
it’s about you but if you’re excited before you speak you know it’s about
them seek to bless not impress and if I stand up and I Dazzle the audience
and they leave being impressed with me I completely blew it but if I fire
them up and they leave impressed with themselves with what they can do that
the you don’t have to think outside the lines think outside the box what if
the answers are still in the box everything required for us to take ourselves
and our organizations to the next levels already inside of us mhm all we have
to do is ask the right questions trigger the right emotions trigger the right
brain chemicals which we’ll get into in story selling so that they leave going
my gosh I already know what I have to do I I just have to do it I just have
to pull the trigger yeah so it’s all about the story and I love sharing my
stories because I always Tie A Life Lesson into that story so the story is
worth sharing it’s not just rambling even my jokes when I train speakers you
got to make them funny and you you got to tell a joke but you don’t ever tell
a joke because if no one laughs you bomb but if you tell a joke that has a
message and no one laughs you never bomb because you’re sharing a different
way you’re using a different you know tool in your toolbox to illuminate and
embellish your message yeah I have I don’t know probably five or six followup
up questions from all of the stuff you just said I don’t know if I’m going to
get to all I may forget some of these you should just called time out man I
sorry no no no it’s it’s great it’s exactly what I wanted to hear and one the
first question I think is a lot of people will probably say well I don’t my
experience isn’t good enough my experience nobody cares about it it doesn’t
make for a good story what is your experience on people who say I don’t have
enough experience I I disagree with them everybody has the story everybody
has a signature story everybody has life lessons that they have that are
worth sharing they just need to hang out with somebody that’s my process I
first when I when somebody hires me to help them write their speech and I’ve
written five speeches for Kareem Abdul Jabar I wrote his Ted Talk Derek Huff
Dancing with the Stars uh Hank hany Tiger Wood’s golf coach for his best six
and a half years Donnie Marie Osman Abdul this goes on and on and on my
process begins with an interview and the interview basically asks them
evocative questions about their life just random and then we pause and say
what life lessons did you just learn from that for example if your dad and
mom are in the military or one or the other or both you have a tendency to to
refuse to to develop long strong deep friendship with your teenage friends
because you know you’re going to move in two years because you move every two
years you’re aloof you never get that emotional connection well what life
lessons did you learn I mean that’s a that’s a philosophical question a
psychologically based question that could could milk from someone’s Soul milk
from someone’s memories of what you learned every time you had to move every
two years it teaches mhm um you know when someone’s you know you’re talking
to them all a sudden they say you know I was just I was adopted I came to
America when I was 12 from Russia and I’m so grateful to be here wait wait
wait time out let’s talk about the mindset of someone who’s being who’s been
adopted you know let’s just learn the life lessons what is it like to feel
like someone gave you away that you weren’t enough that there was some some
reason why your mom did not want you and then we start talking about it oh
yeah I want to find my birth mother I at least want to find the the
circumstances you know oh my gosh I had a much better life because she was
willing to give me to this family and that was it’s a whole different deal
you know in that mindset I wrote one of my hit songs used to get a lot of
radio Play It’s called special man lyrical hook any male can be a father but
it takes a special man to be a dad and there was a National Association with
you know that that kind of brought in and attracted parents and children who
were in the adoption you know relationship and they Ed that as a theme song
I’m so sick and tired of the mainstream media and these wackos on TV slamming
toxic masculinity well look at the national statistics of kids who grow up in
a fatherless home not it’s they don’t have a fighting chance and most of the
guys that are incarcerated grew up without a father in the home stop slamming
masculinity it’s so powerful and it’s so important for us to be real men with
a sensitivity and a compassion and we put women on a pedestal and and you
know it’s so critically important but at the same time let’s talk about the
realities of what it means to step up and celebrate Dad’s day not just
Father’s Day that’s one of the reasons why I just adore you dude you’re just
you’re the perfect poster child for the real man you really are athletic articulate
you know handsome father man of Faith devoted family men you just you check
the boxes that’s so critically important that’s I appreciate that no it’s so
important you you may be mistaken and all I think I have you fooled no that’s
my great talent no that’s great I have you fooled okay so so everybody I I
think asking yourself if you don’t have someone you know Dan Clark’s not in
front of you asking the evocative questions you need to ask yourself those
evocative questions and develop your devel your story and let me simplify you
know what you can do is invite a friend someone you trust who can you can who
will allow you because of that trust it’ll allow you to be as vulnerable as
you need to be and share stories that nobody knows you know I had an NFL
superstar I won’t call him by name but he was in my basement in my family
room and I’m interviewing him I’m helping him write his speech in his book
and I ask him a question he breaks down just sobbing I felt you know real
connected I’m trying to Pat him on the shoulder and he shared the story of
his sister getting killed in a car accident and he had never mourned her
death he had never cried and and he’s doing it in my in my basement and after
the fact it was all recorded he said that’s too close to home he’s not going
to put that in his speech or put that in his book but it was therapeutic so
part of this this interview process has to be with someone either who you
don’t have a clue that you’ll never see him again or someone who’s so close
that you can be vulnerable so you could actually go to a community college
you could go to you know Salt Lake Community College you could go to any one
of these smaller private universities and seek out the the professor in the
journalism or communication department and just say can you give special
extra credit to one of your students if they would come and interview me with
the mindset that they’re interviewing me to write a book or to write an
article and always get a young man and a young woman so you can get both
perspectives of the questions that they create to ask you so you can really
use that and that’s only the first of four ways to find your own content your
own material your own Stories the second source is called transitional
experiences and that’s where you go from something to something from
elementary school to Junior High Middle School from Junior High Middle School
to high school to high school to college getting your first job getting fired
from a job falling in love falling out of love you know like we talked about
the military uh um children you know moving whatever the case may be a a
transition could be marriage it could be divorce uh you could just itemize
transitional experiences and everybody if you take the time to pause and just
analyze your life just start from DNA start when you can remember boom boom
boom boom boom the third source is my favorite source to find content
material your own stories significant emotional events SE psychologists call
them SE significant emotional events and what that is is it’s an experience
that you can quantify and measure how you thought what you believed and how
you acted and behaved before it occurred and how you now think differently
and act and behave differently because it occurred so the two operative words
are before and because before and because so my football paralysis uh battled
cancer when I was 8 years old throat cancer um the death of my dad I’m on my
way out the door in my hotel room to go speak when I get the phone call
though my dad died that morning at 7: a.m. it’s one of my iconic stories that
I use all the time to close my speeches what I learned from a Bellman Who
Rose to the occation that day when I was just down I was as low as I’d ever
been and he fired up um uh you know being hospitalized with Co almost died I
mean I have these significant emotional everybody has those Frank mhm they
might not be paralyzed for 14 months like I was but everyone has one as long
as you don’t compete against others and you compete only against what you’re
capable of we raised our kids on several mantras one of which was the only
person you need to be better than is the person you were yesterday stop
competing and comparing against others because you’re going to find someone
more beautiful more handsome faster bigger stronger and you’re going to be
better than someone which gives you that sense of arrogance and you don’t
want to have either one of those just fire up who are you and what are you
supposed to do to become the best version of yourself every day stop living
in the past and stop hanging around with people who force you to live in the
past call them out you know you keep dragging me in the past it’s like you’re
trying to rob my old house and I don’t live there anymore come on give me a
freaking break and stop living in the future because that ain’t going to
happen unless you take care of right now yeah and people who can’t can’t live
in the present it’s because their present sucks so fix it stop whining get up
and go again don’t get me started man these folks just bother me I barely get
you started I don’t have to do much to prime the pump like you just goway so
and then the fourth source of material is a bucket list so if you think that
you don’t have as extraordinary experiences as I’ve had if you don’t think
you have some sexy stories you don’t have to have your head cut off and speak
fluent French to be inspirational you already have enough insidey you’ve
already experienced enough crazy events in your life right now that would
make you so interesting to talk to listen to for 30 60 Minutes in a keynote
speech you just have to figure out what life lessons are worth sharing that
are compelling enough to someone to go wow and it could be as easy as
teaching your kid how to walk yeah he kept falling down duh right you have to
crawl before you walk you have to drink milk before we eat meat I mean all
these these wonderful analogies that are in front of us no matter what phase
or what part of life we’re in I mean lo